Kinoshita Drabbles
by KagamineToxins
Summary: Unless stated otherwise, every drabble revolves around Hideyoshi and/or Yuuko. A series of drabbles and unfinished things, updated leisurely, because I seriously have nothing else to do.
1. Introduction and Notes

**Introduction and Notes:**

Disclaimer: I do not own Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu, and I do not make money from anything posted no this site. I'm only writing this once, to save room and preserve the word count, but the disclaimer applies to everything written in this little series of drabbles.

Unless stated otherwise, every drabble will be about at least one of the Kinoshita twins (Hideyoshi and Yuuko). Any applicable warnings will be posted at the top of the "chapter".

I'll update these at my leisure. Most of them are failed story snippets, or little scraps that I didn't know what else to do with. I'm not going to upload _every _unfinished story and drabble that I write, however.

If you see something that inspires you to write more, go ahead and take it. I'm probably never doing anything with the majority of them, so I could really care less. _Credit is optional_, but I'd like to see anything you've written when you finish it, so send me a message. I kind of doubt anyone is going to do it, but I'm trying to be helpful to anyone needing inspiration.

**Introduction Word Count: 192.**


	2. Himeji's Cooking

Even several hours after ingestion, the symptoms of Himeji's cooking were recognizable. And Yuuko had shared a class with the pink-haired girl for years; when Hideyoshi walked in looking pale and twitchy, she already knew what had happened. The fact that he refused to eat the dinner Yuuko had made – after claiming he wasn't hungry – confirmed it. Nobody could be hungry after eating something that girl prepared, not even the empty-headed idiots from Class F. Yuuko spooned the rice into a plastic container, put the leftovers in the fridge for later, and cleared away the rest of the dishes as Hideyoshi fell on the couch and went limp.

"Guess your stomach wasn't as strong as you thought it was," Yuuko snipped in annoyance at his idiocy. Hideyoshi whimpered in response. "Moron. Why would you even think that girl could cook?"

Himeji was a great person. She always meant well. But she wasn't perfect.

"I don't," he groaned, and he sounded like he was in genuine agony. Maybe she should offer him a painkiller?

. . . No, she was too much of the "tsundere sister" for that.

"But I can't not eat it!" he continued. Yuuko thought she could hear a hint of frantic despair in his voice. Poor kid. "It wouldn't be okay to disappoint Himeji, not after she puts so much effort into cooking those meals for us!" Besides, Akihisa wouldn't let him. The other boy argued that Himeji's cooking had to go somewhere. And, out of all of them, Hideyoshi had the highest odds of survival.

Yuuko rolled her eyes as opposed to offering her push-over brother some sympathy. He was too nice for his own good.

**Word Count: 288.**

**Tsundere: A character who alternates between a "cold" personality and a "warm" one. I actually hate using this word, but I couldn't think of anything else to describe it. And I have a horrible tendency to write Yuuko as a "tsundere" anyway, so...**


	3. Changing Rooms

'Why must they talk about such crude things?' Yuuko thought scornfully as she escaped from the locker room.

There was no word more adequate to describe the situation – "escaped" – public changing rooms were like Hell on earth, as far as she was concerned. Athletic credits were being required this year, and she was by no means athletic, which only served to make it worse. She had no interest in sports, or getting sweaty and looking like a clumsy fool in front of dozens of other people, especially when members of the lower intelligences – better known as classes B through F – were doing better than her, their superior. And the conversation was not even tasteful for a scholar such as herself; she had no interest in comparing boyfriends and sizes with the rest of the girls.

But on the way out, something that she hadn't noticed before caught her eye. The tag above one of the three doors – she hadn't even noticed there were three before – and she read it aloud, in astonishment.

"Hi-Hideyoshi!"

She glanced at the plates again, just to make sure she wasn't imagining things. Boy. Girl. _Hideyoshi. _And his classmates seemed to pop up out of nowhere, as they so _conveniently_ managed to do at the most random of times. Yoshii and Shimada and Himeji and . . . the short, dark-haired one whose name she could never remember.

"That's right!" the school idiot – because, really, Yuuko didn't think he deserved to be called anything else – piped up. Somehow, he managed to sound way too cheerful about it; it really grated on her nerves.

Meanwhile, the ninja was crawling on around on the ground – best to ignore him – and the two girls were mostly there as background objects. Himeji was no longer part of Class A, so Yuuko saw no reason to acknowledge her.

"Why is there a door with my brother's name above it!"

"'Hideyoshi is a gender in and of itself'," Shimada quoted helpfully.

Yuuko was too flustered to respond clearly. Sure, her brother was a bit odd and sometimes he cross-dressed, but that was all the drama club's fault! She'd been telling him to stop hanging out with those losers for years. "B-But, my brother is a _boy_!"

"Is that so?" Akihisa replied. Yuuko did not like the look on his face, but the next comment he made killed him before she got a chance to. "But if that were true, then wouldn't Shimada-san have her own dressing room also? After all, she's more of a gorilla than a female."

Words could not describe the scream of pain that followed.

**Word Count: 454**

**I've always wanted to write Yuuko's reaction to the "Hideyoshi" rooms. It's completely random. I don't think Japanese require gym classes as they do here, but I needed a plot.**

**My Yuuko seems to get more irritable every time I write.**

**Finally attempted to use proper Japanese (honorifics...) I don't always remember how they're used in this show, so it's kind of nervous...**


	4. Pretend Wedding

Seven year old Yuuko huffed, placing her hands on her hips, then went back to tenaciously arranging a mess of toilet paper on her brother's head. It was supposed to be a wedding veil, and Hideyoshi knew their parents would be scolding them for this later, but Yuuko would be even scarier if he tried to protest. He wasn't even allowed to twitch, when she was busy like this.

Lately, his sister had gotten very into playing wedding. There was no arguing about it with her – Hideyoshi was resigned to his position, because she could easily force him to do anything she wanted to – but there were still certain things he didn't understand...

"Sis?" he started cautiously. Yuuko didn't turn away from her task, which he took as a good sign. It was okay to risk asking. "I don't mind playing games with you," even if he never was never given a choice, "but how come you always make me be the bride? I'm a boy."

Yuuko stopped suddenly, and Hideyoshi flinched, understanding that he had apparently done something wrong. He didn't know what, but his sister was quick to answer that question with a glare, "Boy or not, you're still prettier!"

"Eh?" Hideyoshi did not comprehend. "I thought we looked the same..."

Yuuko became very upset with him after that, and expressed her fury by forcing him to marry the ugliest pretend husband imaginable – couldn't he at least get a wife? – while she played the part of the preacher, announcing them horribly and forcibly bound together until death. In those words.

**Word Count: 272.**

**This could have fit into my "Childhood Memories" fanfic, but I didn't think of it until after that one was completed.**


	5. Ranmaru Mori

Hideyoshi walked in ecstatic today. He was in good moods most days, especially after drama club meetings – which, as far as Yuuko was concerned, he loved a bit too excessively – but his calm exterior usually prevailed over whatever fanatical excitement contained inside. It was not every he walked through the door waving a script and yelling like an idiot. An even bigger idiot. An idiot on par with even Akihisa, as the amount of noise he was making disrupted her from some _very important_ channel surfing.

"What the hell do you want?" she snapped at him.

Hideyoshi was startled into silence, but only for a moment. Yuuko had failed to dishearten him completely, and damn him for being so flexible. He recovered with an ability that his sister would never have – the ability to be that simple-minded. Since he wasn't going to shut up, she decided to humor him and hope it might make him leave faster. "We got our new scripts today..."

"Oh? And what about it?"

"It's about the samurai, and... Well, I thought you'd be pleased to know that I got my first ever male role!"

That was interesting news. Naturally, Yuuko covered up her surprise with scorn. "Did the other boys quit? Is that what happened and now there are only girls left?"

"Um... no."

But she _was_ proud of him, so she couldn't let him remain disheartened for too long. And, damn him, why did he always take everything his twin sister said so seriously!

"So... Samurai. That means it's historical, right?"

She was not very good at this. But, to make up for it, neither was Hideyoshi.

"I... I think so?"

Leave it to her brother to be the only student in Japan to not know when the death of Oda Nobunaga came about... It took a bit of effort to prevent the irritation from returning.

"What's the character that you're playing?" she asked instead.

"His name is Ranmaru!" Hideyoshi responded proudly, causing Yuuko to stare in disbelief. Really, her brother was stupid when it came to history!

"Have you looked at any of your lines yet?" she inquired, although it looked like he probably hadn't. He wouldn't have been so clueless otherwise.

"Um, no. Why?"

It was rare for Yuuko to ask about these things. Normally, she couldn't care less. Hideyoshi flipped the book open and started skimming through the pages. Yuuko didn't bother telling him to look for, assuming he would find out soon enough...

**Word Count: 428**

**Ranmaru Mori (first, last name) is a historical figure from the Sengoku Era, rumored to have been prettier than most girls at the time – and thus, frequently mistaken for one.** **It surprised me that Hideyoshi was named after Hideyoshi Toyotomi rather than Ranmaru Mori when I started watching BakaTest, for this reason...**

**...Almost lost this one. Stupid computer.**


	6. Laundry Note

_'Whenever Sis forgets to do laundry, she borrows my clothes. I think it bothers her to do so, because she complains quite loudly about it, but then I also get the feeling she should stop forgetting to do her own laundry if she doesn't want to wear my clothes. As for me, I am bothered that our wardrobes are so interchangeable, and why is it that everyone refuses to give me normal _boy_ clothes anyway?_

_ …I should be glad they at least gave me the correct uniform for going to school._

_Hideyoshi_

Shimada stares at him for a moment before responding honestly, "That's only because they can't see your face when you write a slip to order uniforms."

**Word Count: 121**


	7. Pokemon Black and White

"Hey, Hideyoshi! How come you don't have the new Pokemon game?"

Akihisa. Always being nosy and poking into other people's lives.

The new games were already popular among their classmates. Looking around, he could see that clearly, as even Voyeur and and Shimada were preoccupied with tapping buttons on a handheld game console. Himeji was the only exception so far, but seeing how much attention Akihisa was giving the game instead of her, Hideyoshi didn't doubt that she would show up tomorrow with a copy of her own.

"I do..." Hideyoshi corrected. It was a dismal topic, but Akihisa didn't seem to notice the cloud of gloom hanging over his friend's head.

"Then give me your friend code!" Akihisa held his DS at ready, waiting for Hideyoshi to pull out his. When it was obvious he was not going to, Akihisa spoke up again, "Did you not bring your game today?"

"...Sis has it."

One would think Yuuko would have beyond the years of bossing around her twin, and taking whatever she wanted from him when she was too embarrassed to ask for her own now that they were in high school. She hadn't.

**Word Count: 199**

**I actually wrote this around the release of Pokemon Black/White in America. I have White, by the way.**

**On break. Cleaning out notebooks. Sorry for the in-box spamming.**


	8. Popularity Polls

Akihisa's eyes gleamed with excitement as he noticed the Perverted Ninja sitting alone in the corner, staring at some papers intently. Voyeur always had the greatest stuff; today might be pictures of cute girls, or some rare snapshots... He was at the smaller boy's side in an instant.

"What are you looking at?" he asked eagerly.

Voyeur replied in the same monotone voice he always did. "School popularity polls. Cast through underground voting."

"Oh." This was not quite the excitement Akihisa had been hoping for. Now that he was closer, he could see the paper held nothing but words on it. The words were divided into two columns, but there were no pictures of cute or sexy girls between them. "Anything interesting in the results?"

"First place, most popular female," Voyeur began, setting the papers down on the desk. "Kinoshita Hideyoshi."

A thoughtful expression came over Akihisa's face briefly, as he took in the results. "That... doesn't surprise me in the least," he replied finally. "Of course Hideyoshi would win something like that!"

Voyeur tapped the paper, placing his finger on the heading of the second column. "First place, most popular boy," he continued. "...It's Kinoshita Hideyoshi."

"Whaaaaaaat?" Now Akihisa was frowning, as his mind searched for the logic behind this announcement. "The same Hideyoshi, our Hideyoshi?" He glanced at their classmate, smiling and clapping politely at some lame joke Minami was telling. "Can't be. Our Hideyoshi's too cute for that."

The Ninja Pervert reverted to silence, waiting for him to continue. He was one of the few people who believed Akihisa was capable of finishing a thought; coincidentally, the other believers were all part of Class F as well.

"They must have mixed up the results," he concluded. "They really meant Kinoshita-san, from Class A."

Voyeur believed he was capable of finishing a thought. He resented having ever thinking Akihisa might finish an _intelligent_ thought. "...I'm sure that's it," he replied dryly to absurdness even he couldn't ignore.

Akihisa failed to notice.

**Word Count: 349.**

**1. They always make comments over how cute Hideyoshi is, but never Yuuko. It makes me wonder.**

**2. The year the BakaTest light novel debuted, Hideyoshi was ranked first most popular male character in a light novel. He was also ranked tenth most popular female character.**


	9. Proposals for Hideyoshi

The sound of footsteps running rapidly down the hallway interrupts Hideyoshi from his thoughts. Then he hears words, and those disturb him even more.

"Kinoshita-san," a boy from another class shouts. There is a hint of desperation in his voice, mottled with infatuation. It's the kind of voice that makes Hideyoshi worry he's about to get jumped; thankfully, the boy skids to a halt a mere foot in front of him and even manages to refrain from glomping. "Will you marry me?"

Hideyoshi gives him the standard response to random proposals from other men:

"...I'm a _boy_."

Then he glares at him dryly to see if the point is getting across – this is the sixth encounter this week, and even gentle Hideyoshi loses patience sometimes – but it is obviously not.

"That's okay," the boy replies in a tone that clearly states he's not believing him. "If it's for you, I'll make an exception."

"I'm a boy and I'm _straight_."

"So that means it'll work out perfectly, right?"

**Word Count: 176**

**It's so much easier/normal to poke fun at Hideyoshi's gender than Yuuko's. Forgive the last chapter. Akihisa's an idiot/I am too. ;_;**


	10. Awkward Question: Define This?

"Hey, Sis," Hideyoshi is on the computer while Yuuko is studying. Normally, she would berate him for his lack of study skills and complain that he's distracting her; indeed, she opens her mouth to grumble and do exactly this, but immediately shuts it again once she hears the rest of what Hideyoshi has to say: "What's the meaning of this word?"

It's so rare that he takes an interest in such things that Yuuko can't help but feel a little proud of her brother – and herself, even, as if all her lecturing and ambitious studying and all around _good behavior_ was finally starting to rub off. So instead of yelling at him like she had originally planned to do, she asks in her sweetest possible tone, "What is it, brother?" (but thankfully still has her nose stuck too far in a textbook to see the way Hideyoshi flinches at this very unusual way she speaks to him).

"It's a foreign word, it's written in katakana," he explains first, before slowly attempting to sound it out. "Tu-win... Twin-ke-su-to?"

_Twincest_.

Yuuko recognizes the word immediately, despite how the Japanese language disagrees with English – the "c" is replaced with the "k" sound and the "s" and "t" have a vowel after them in katakana – but she's seen the word often enough. Definitely not from browsing foreign websites and reading BL manga, no, definitely not-

"What does it mean?" Hideyoshi derails her train of thought, worrying about how long it's been since Yuuko stopped speaking – she never stops speaking, if it gives her a chance to lecture him – and wondering if she even knew. "You know what it means, right?" he asked, just to make sure.

Yuuko, keeping her nose buried in her book – _not_ because her eyes had widen when he said the word aloud, nor because her face had turn an unbecoming shade of pink, and most certainly not because she associated the word with inappropriate manga – resigned to answer. She had the quaint feeling that, if she didn't, Hideyoshi would find a definition on his own and she somehow couldn't allow that to happen.

"It's, uh, a very deep bonding between twins," she replied quickly.

_Which wasn't actually too far from the truth_. She hoped her brother would be satisfied with this answer, instead he pressed it, "Do we have twincest?" he asked innocently.

Yuuko had never wanted to beat her head in with a book so badly.

* * *

"Twincest," Akihisa repeated thoughtfully. Knowingly, even, with a coy grin on his face. "I know all about that."

"You do?" Hideyoshi asked incredulously. For once, even _Akishisa_ knew something he didn't. After his question from the night before, Yuuko's answer had become very muddled and round-about, and somehow left him confused – Yuuko's long explanations were always confusing, but it was even worse when she constantly tried to change the subject for reasons Hideyoshi couldn't determine.

"Yes. Yes, I do."

"Hot blonds..." Voyeur added, as if that somehow explained everything.

For Hideyoshi, it just left him even more confused, though he finally began to wonder if it was really worth asking.

**Word Count: 543**

**I dub this crack.** **Hideyoshi is so innocent.**


	11. Revenge

**Written after the Kinoshita cross-dressing episode.**

It's a little hard to believe, but...

"Sis!" Hideyoshi yells excitedly the instant he walks through the door. Yuuko is doing what she usually does, sitting on the couch and reading manga, though she's missing the elated expression she normally gets from reading boys' love. Hideyoshi, in his good mood, fails to notice this detail in the slightest. "My reputation at school has been fixed! I don't know how, but... there's a new rumor going around school that my 'developing chest' was related to Drama Club activities."

Yuuko puts down her book without saying a word. Again, Hideyoshi doesn't notice – this time, it's the odd silence he ignores.

"I wonder who started that rumor anyway?" Hideyoshi mumbles, his face suddenly turning thoughtful.

He really is very dense.

"It was me," Yuuko clarifies. "Who else would have done it? Half the school is hoping you're really female anyway."

"What?" for a moment, her brother cannot surpress the surprise he feels at this act of apparent generosity. "T-thank you so mu-"

"Shut up!" Yuuko snaps angrily, cutting him off. Again, Hideyoshi finds himself surprised, but for an entirely different reason. "My reputation can't be fixed. I fixed yours instead, so now it's justifiable if I beat you into the ground as revenge for my lost honor!"

**Word Count: 223**

**Not the most entertaining drabble.**

**But it makes me think of Yuuko as samurai (I don't understand either).**


	12. Yuuko and Akihisa

On one hand, he called me beautiful. Akihisa, biggest idiot in the school, had called _me_ beautiful. No one had ever done that before, not unless they had been rejected by Hideyoshi first. I hate taking second place to Hideyoshi. Nobody took him seriously and he was an obvious idiot, always being mistaken for a girl-

What did Akihisa think of my brother? Were they more than just friends? Would Akihisa ever think of him that way? No, I would _not_ tolerate yet another man, especially not someone so close to him, mistaking Hideyoshi for a girl. If Akihisa made that stupid mistake, I swear...

But he'd also called me talented. Beautiful and talented, two things nobody had ever said about me before. Granted, it had been a mistake – that wasn't really Yuuko singing and that wasn't Hideyoshi he was talking to – but he'd still said it. He'd _believed_ it.

...On the other hand, he would always be the biggest idiot in the school. So I knew it wouldn't work out.

**Word Count: 173**

**What the...**

**((has a strange fixation with that particular episode...))**


End file.
